Why Some Workouts Stick (and Others Don’t) 🧐

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I’ve spoken with hundreds of people about exercise over the years—what they do, why they do it, and why some routines stick while others fade away.

Again and again, the same theme popped up. Psychologists call it Self-Determination Theory: the idea that motivation really sticks when three basic needs are met.

• Autonomy: feeling in control of your choices. Not “I have to” but “I get to.”
  

• Competence: feeling effective and seeing progress. Not always winning, but learning, improving, and mastering skills.
  

• Relatedness: feeling connected and valued in relationships. Training partners, belonging, being part of a community.
  

When these needs are met, effort feels sustainable and satisfying. When they’re not, we either burn out… or feel restless and start looking for something else.

Take running. I often hear people say: “I should really run more—it’s good for you, right?” quickly followed by “But I don’t like running.” They want the outcome, but they’re not sold on the activity itself. Yet talk to a keen runner and they’ll usually say they enjoy it. Not every run, mind you, but most. Why? From a self-determination lens, it’s likely a mix of autonomy (they choose it), competence (they see progress), and relatedness (community, running buddies, events).

So if you’ve never enjoyed running, does that mean you never will? Maybe, maybe not. Stick with it long enough to see progress and it might start to grow on you. Add a social element and it might click. Or maybe running just isn’t your thing—and that’s fine too. The point isn’t that you need to analyse every workout, but that these three levers can explain why something sticks, why it doesn’t, or why it used to but no longer does.

That’s also why the gym is a perfect fit for some and a total miss for others. For one person, it’s where they get stronger, connect with friends, and take ownership of their training. For another, it feels sterile and isolating. Same environment—completely different impact depending on which needs are satisfied.

The takeaway: it’s not about finding any exercise—it’s about finding the kind that clicks with these three needs.

But here’s the caveat: even when autonomy, competence, and relatedness are in place, training still takes effort. There will always be days you’d rather skip, sessions that feel flat, or plateaus you have to push through. Meeting these needs doesn’t make the path effortless—it just makes it smoother and more likely you’ll keep showing up.

A few ideas to explore:

• Autonomy: Choose a form of training where you can set the pace or structure—lifting weights, yoga, hiking.
  

• Competence: Pick something with clear progress markers—heavier lifts, faster times, longer distances, new skills.
  

• Relatedness: Add a social element—a running club, a new class, a coach, or simply a training buddy.
  

If your current routine isn’t clicking, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it just means one of these three needs isn’t being met. Adjust the environment, not your willpower, and you’ll be far more likely to find something that sticks.

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P.S. If you enjoyed this week's Thursday Three, please share it with a friend.

Thanks,

Jamie