Resilience Over Happiness 🔥

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I picked up a book recently to upgrade my parenting game — I’ve got two wild, loud, endlessly curious little humans who test every boundary I’ve got.

It’s a book on parenting and child psychology, but I couldn’t help noticing how much of it connects to coaching.

The book’s called Good Inside by Dr. Becky Kennedy, if you’re curious.

And one idea in particular hit hard:

“Don’t aim for raising a happy child. Aim for raising a resilient one.”

She unpacks how we’ve all been sold the idea that happiness means feeling good all the time — high energy, good moods, no conflict, everything going smoothly.

Sounds ideal.

But it’s a trap.

Because when you believe happiness = “nothing’s wrong,” then every tough moment feels like failure — something to fix, avoid, or escape from.

So what do we actually do when life gets hard?

We avoid — not in big dramatic ways, but in the small, daily decisions that quietly pull us off course.

You’ve probably seen it in yourself once or twice:

• You bail on a workout because your energy’s low and motivation’s shot.

• You pour a stiffer drink because the day was harder than expected.

• You grab an extra cookie (or three), not out of hunger — just to take the edge off.

• You scroll until your brain goes numb and call it “winding down.”

• You snap, shut down, or check out.
  

And for a minute? It works. You feel better.

It doesn’t feel like avoidance — it feels like relief.

But over time, that kind of relief doesn’t build strength. It builds dependency — on comfort, distraction, and escape.

That’s why Dr. Becky says the goal isn’t happiness — it’s resilience.

Resilience means:

• I can feel uncomfortable, and still be okay.

• I don’t need to feel great to show up.

• I can stay in hard moments without checking out or blowing up.

It’s the internal belief:

“Even when things are hard, I can handle it.”

Three Ways to Practice Resilience This Week:

🔹 1. Reframe what “good” looks like Instead of chasing good vibes and easy days, try: “Can I stay present even when it’s messy?” How can I still show up — even in a small way — when things feel hard? That’s growth.

🔹 2. Let discomfort breathe Next time you're frustrated, anxious, or just flat — pause. Don’t distract. Don’t rush to fix. Just sit with it. Name it. Trust that you can handle it.

🔹 3. Practice the bounce-back

Resilience isn’t about never falling.

It’s about how you come back.

Ask yourself: “What helped me last time?” or “What do I need now?”

This week, skip the pressure to feel amazing all the time. Instead, practice staying steady — even when it’s hard.

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P.S. If you enjoyed this week's Thursday Three, please share it with a friend.

Thanks,

Jamie